I’m Not Cut Out For…

scissorsI’m not cut out for cruise ships or cigar bars. I’m not cut out for parachuting, gardening, knitting or skin diving. I’m not cut out for Reality TV, Mad TV, or Fox TV. I’m not cut out for bikinis or bikini waxing or window washing. I’m not cut out for martinis, anchovies, capers, fish roe, lima beans or plain yogurt. I’m not cut out for Beltway traffic, night driving or miniature golf. I’m not cut out for sushi or pointy shoes. I’m not cut out for darning sox, picking crabs or clipping coupons. I’m not cut out for Motel 6, Ramada, Applebee’s or Wendy’s. I’m not cut out for blind dates, Filenes Basement or comedy clubs. I’m not cut out for flying standby or carpools. I’m not cut out for parakeets, pet pigs or scrapple. I’m not cut out for polygamy, group sex, playgroups or push-up bras. I’m not cut out for video poker, Tournament Bridge, the Christian Right, Compassionate Conservatism, scrapbooking, dog shows, fishing tournaments, burning the midnight oil, ironing, fine china, paper plates, eating at my desk, The Palm or raw shellfish. I’m not cut out for team building, team sports, team spirit, sports bars or fantasy football. I’m not cut out for flashy jewelry, fast cars, fasting, low-carb diets, low fat diets, low sugar diets or decaffeinated coffee. I’m not cut out for tofu burgers.  I’m not cut out for the desert. I’m not cut out for holistic pedicures, aura photography or past life regression.

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Filed under Breadcrumbs, Nonfiction

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